Dreaming an impossible dream

It turns out I was tagged by Doug with “the impossible dream” meme a couple of weeks ago and never knew it – that ought to tell you how far behind I got with my blog reading between crazy work and my wife being ill!

Weary readers of this blog will know that the meme title is one of my favorite musical choruses:

To dream the impossible dream,
To fight the unbeatable foe,
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go;
To right the unrightable wrong.

To love, pure and chaste, from afar,
To try, when your arms are too weary,
To reach the unreachable star!

This is my Quest to follow that star,
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far,
To fight for the right
Without question or pause,
To be willing to march into hell
For a heavenly cause!

And I know, if I’ll only be true
To this glorious Quest,
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I’m laid to my rest.

And the world will be better for this,
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach the unreachable stars!

But, alas no, my impossible dream is not to act or sing in Man of La Mancha!

In fact, like most, I’m not sure how to answer this. There are growing up dreams, like conducting a famous (or even not-so-famous) orchestra or experiencing Earth from outer space. There are work dreams, like the hope of making a living doing something that doesn’t seem like work and that renews my enthusiasm just by doing it. There are family passions, like seeing my boys grow up into responsible men and maturing as a husband to my wife. There are get-your-hands-dirty dreams, like tilling a vineyard to produce wine (and being too tired to drink too much). There are health dreams, like knowing that the cancer that killed my mom at age 45 is not a time bomb lurking in the genes I inherited from her.

But frankly, the one that seems most elusive of all is the dream of being in uninterrupted communion and worship with God. I long to be able to pray without the distractions of life, without the temptations of the world, without every well-intended action being defeated by the law of sin. The dream of not being a wretch, of not being a barren branch, but bearing fruit and being pruned to bear even more. The dream of no longer being naturally inclined to the depravity of sin, but supernaturally inclined to honor my Creator from my first breath of dawn to my final gaze at the darkened heavens.

But I suppose that’s the common dream of all Christians who have recognized their separation from God, so I really can’t say it’s “mine” alone, which is how a dream seems it ought to be. And of all the dreams I’ve listed, it is actually the most possible one – 100% guaranteed in fact through the gift of grace – just not in this physical life.

So, to answer Doug’s tag, I am forced to answer that my impossible dream is the dream of time. The luxury of time to investigate whatever curiosities and pursuits occur to me and the unfettered imagination to leap down the rabbit hole and follow the tangents of my toil.